today i make my 1st step that i suppose to do it 1 year ago! i keep it for so long but today i dunno what hv make me to open my mouth to say it out! i so happy when i talk with mummy. i tell her what i want but i still dun dare to straight away tell the truth! i keep going use maybe, maybe, maybe and maybe! i always think that she will be the 1st one who disagree with me but today she just say if u think ok then ok! after that, she just tell me to tell my daddy if not sure my dad will angry then i tot mummy say ok sure wont be problem with my dad coz he the only one will understand me since i born but today everything become different! he since like didnt get what i mean and what i want! i feel like wanna cry out but i cant just can tear out from my heart! they call me give a call to my bro and ask him. nvm, i call but i sure he also wont surport me at all! he sure will disagree! izzit choose to go back after grad and hv my career at there then means i cant choose what i want? i cant make my own way that i happy with? ya, he scolded me! but i din mad with him coz i know is my fault! university and college really got so much different? izzit the cert hv university are better? why everybody can choose but y i cant?! y i always hv to follow the road that u all set for u?! dun u all think that izzit i happy at there? y dun u all care about my feeling? when now think back when my mum start take care of my cousin that is the day that i so happy with it even sometimes i so like to put temper on him but he really good! he wont angry with me even scold me! he still will smile and talk with me! he really a good cousin that i even meet! we seldom talk our problem really seldom or can say even no! but from small i so wish that i hv a sis and i so wish he is a girl coz if heis a girl then i can talk with him everytime i facing problem, when i upset but no! he not a girl! after year by year, my aunt born a littler baby girl. she is so cute! i'm so happy coz finally got a girl in our family to company me. mummy take care her since she born 40 days! everyday come back from school the 1st thing is sure find her! but we hv a gap! she younger than me 9 years! can u imagine how a small little baby can share ur problem? impossible, right! when she start grow up, start to hv a girl talk but i going far from her! we become seldom meet even talk! when go back just can meet her when our family hv functions! sometime dun even can talk much but see her become bigger year by year i'm so happy! when saw her sure will think the time when she in kindegarden! everytime when she gonna reach home sure i will go to wait for her then carry her from parking lot until my house! she like my everything! she is the only sis that i hv! she make me feel that i not lonely! but not now anymore coz we hv our own life! today i taking the 1st step out coz i'm so happy when thinking when graduation whole family will be there having the joy but i'm wrong coz it wont happen to me anymore! from small i hv nobody just a little me that always like to put all my problem in my heart! i din told anybody even my best fren! but after that i found my Mr. right(that i think is my Mr.right but now back as normal. i have nth even him),he is the one that understand me that always know what i think! he make me feel secure and i dunno y everything that happen or i upset sure he will know even he is far from me! i so miss him! but now i hv to be even more strong to face tomolo! lonely doesnt meant anything to me now coz i dy dunno what should i call for the feel that i hving now!
today i make my 1st step that i suppose to do it 1 year ago! i keep it for so long but today i dunno what hv make me to open my mouth to say it out! i so happy when i talk with mummy. i tell her what i want but i still dun dare to straight away tell the truth! i keep going use maybe, maybe, maybe and maybe! i always think that she will be the 1st one who disagree with me but today she just say if u think ok then ok! after that, she just tell me to tell my daddy if not sure my dad will angry then i tot mummy say ok sure wont be problem with my dad coz he the only one will understand me since i born but today everything become different! he since like didnt get what i mean and what i want! i feel like wanna cry out but i cant just can tear out from my heart! they call me give a call to my bro and ask him. nvm, i call but i sure he also wont surport me at all! he sure will disagree! izzit choose to go back after grad and hv my career at there then means i cant choose what i want? i cant make my own way that i happy with? ya, he scolded me! but i din mad with him coz i know is my fault! university and college really got so much different? izzit the cert hv university are better? why everybody can choose but y i cant?! y i always hv to follow the road that u all set for u?! dun u all think that izzit i happy at there? y dun u all care about my feeling? when now think back when my mum start take care of my cousin that is the day that i so happy with it even sometimes i so like to put temper on him but he really good! he wont angry with me even scold me! he still will smile and talk with me! he really a good cousin that i even meet! we seldom talk our problem really seldom or can say even no! but from small i so wish that i hv a sis and i so wish he is a girl coz if heis a girl then i can talk with him everytime i facing problem, when i upset but no! he not a girl! after year by year, my aunt born a littler baby girl. she is so cute! i'm so happy coz finally got a girl in our family to company me. mummy take care her since she born 40 days! everyday come back from school the 1st thing is sure find her! but we hv a gap! she younger than me 9 years! can u imagine how a small little baby can share ur problem? impossible, right! when she start grow up, start to hv a girl talk but i going far from her! we become seldom meet even talk! when go back just can meet her when our family hv functions! sometime dun even can talk much but see her become bigger year by year i'm so happy! when saw her sure will think the time when she in kindegarden! everytime when she gonna reach home sure i will go to wait for her then carry her from parking lot until my house! she like my everything! she is the only sis that i hv! she make me feel that i not lonely! but not now anymore coz we hv our own life! today i taking the 1st step out coz i'm so happy when thinking when graduation whole family will be there having the joy but i'm wrong coz it wont happen to me anymore! from small i hv nobody just a little me that always like to put all my problem in my heart! i din told anybody even my best fren! but after that i found my Mr. right(that i think is my Mr.right but now back as normal. i have nth even him),he is the one that understand me that always know what i think! he make me feel secure and i dunno y everything that happen or i upset sure he will know even he is far from me! i so miss him! but now i hv to be even more strong to face tomolo! lonely doesnt meant anything to me now coz i dy dunno what should i call for the feel that i hving now!
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