People tot when come to salary day will be a happy day but then for me is a suck day. very damn sucks! who expect i will get RM 283.85 for 1st month of working! make me go crazy until i call to labor office to make sure my salary! yes, its suck because of the accountant calculate wrong salary for me. its not my mistake!
u know what the more fucking thing is she told me she will add on on feb salary! wtf is that! she saying that she dun wan to open another cheque for me! fuck! even thats only 70++ but that is my salary! y because of ur mistake i hv to stand for it! for me 70++ is much! ARGGGG....
i wan to resign but dunno what reason to put! decided to resign because now im awake! im awake! been scolded by my best fren that y i still can stand with them eventhough they are keep going bully me! ok! maybe some will think im impossible that i giving others bully! but the reality is i am! WTF!
nowmally will got thing to do but today damn lazy to help anymore! wasted if i do more! chios...adios....FUCK 3Q
swear...not for u but for somebody u might know or i not sure rather. but thats end. i just dun feel wanna to say out about that somebody anymore coz i dun care bout him. for others outside there, the "define of friendship" that i wrote in previous post is quoted by my love babee (Sze, S., 2010). ok? its from her post make me hv the inspiration to wrote this! and also coz of the stupid ppl v having this stupid problem! p/s promise me not to lie to me anymore,ok?! its painful when the one u love no "tang bai".
this post is reply to u!because of other had make smth to me and i tell my feeling at here and u feel pain! i dunno y?! and the secret not bout the relationship! i dunno y u hv such big response?!reply for the case u mention. A and C went for a work-from-home inteview, but got cheated. So B asking C what had happened? But A telling C in front of B, "it would be better if lesser people know about this incident". Clearly, A doesn't want B to know about it. Well, for that moment, B felt like an outsider and got hurt.reply: A telling C if better not much ppl know and didnt tell that dun wan to let B know! just wanna to tell B coz didnt remind her, she will say she dunno. i remind her, coz i know she know less than us. i mean she still like a small baby go to town i doesnt mean to say her like that but she always say she dunno this and that. so i say she know less than us. thats all. and i dunno u mind about this so much.Case 2:Exam time wuhoo everybody is panic. Especially B cuz she's damn lazy. Ok, after lunch with this bunch of friend, A and C just left and back to school library. This time, B freaked out and wondered why are they going back to library? Is there anything she'd missed out? OMFG B gone nuts. So the truth was, A & C decided to back to the library for further revision. But B had never BEEN TOLD!! OMFG, B felt like an outsider and got hurt, again. Still, A sms-ed B and asked why B's looked angry, is it A did anything wrong? Well, yeah, B was angry cuz she'd never be informed that A & C have further revision session. HOHO and B felt like an idiot. (You're correct in your blog post that I'm an idiot).
reply: i forgot what happen that day, but i think that day i not the 1 wanna go to library i think. i stand there for a while coz v feel u like dunno y so down. just dunwan talk infront on u scare hurt u. after that i decided to sms u to ask to care about u! and if not mistaken that time u with somebody or what la. and to tell u more i dun like do revision in library i will just find information and i like to do revision at home alone if without both of u in library. to tell u the truth i like to do revision more than with her coz u understand what i say more faster. but didnt mean i dun like to do revision with her. coz v tot u in bad mood so din tell u but i still got tell C that i will send to u by scan or whatever. i still remember whenever i got info if u tell me u wan i still think the way to give u. this not to prove that i very "wei da". since u wrote that so i reply u this. but i know this few years v study tgt u got contribute alot such as notes and so on. Case 3:Classroom time. Whenever A sits in the middle, don't even think about it that B get the chance to talk with C.A talks to C without turning around peeking at B as if she is invisible or just a stranger who unfortunately ter-sat beside A. B got boycotted, hurt, and embarrassed. B got phobia, so she purposely make C sit in the middle everytime. Clever B. B has a revengeful heart, therefore A got revenged by B sometimes.
reply: hey, this really hurt me. from the moment few of us become 3 i feel what u feel. everytime i talk to her i will mention tell u! and somemore she talk to me mostly is ask exam how. cw how. so i just tell her all that. but since that day u start revenge i know that. dunno u remember anot, every time in ec class i also din talk and just hear what lecturer say without bother u all coz i dun wan think y u 2 always talk this and that and i dunno what u all talk about. tell u what...since i be fren with u is just this hurt me only. Case 4:A & C happily tallking about their outing. B was like O.O" har? They went for outing? Why I don't know one? *freaked out again. A's excuse, "mei chi jiao ni chu ni dou bu hui chu de laaaaaaa". Inside B, "I've got no $$ do you know about that honey? And you never ask also. So many excuses. Go to die la".reply: erm.. excuse me, u really sure that sentence come out from me? and that time i also damn poor! ur family hv problem i dunno just she tell me so i knew it. but do u know that time i also hv family problem?! i also no money that time so i understand ur feeling but then i choose not to tell u all coz u all wont believe me i think. everyone thinking of can hv honda civic as car who will believe ur house financial will drop! u say i never ask. whoever plan to go out i sure ask who going if not y din go! maybe is my problem coz didnt straight away ask u all to prove my sincerity.Case 5:A&C went to national library looking for case study. A called B at night, B was damn happy cuz A call her. BUT, bad news uh oh.A: Hey, have you find your case study ah?B: Yes I did, but I've no idea what to find =(. *panic*A: HAR!? Why you haven't find. B: ....err...ehh... How bout you?A: I found dy lor. One of them I found in NATIONAL LIBRARY wan.B: Har...wahh..good lor... *Why didn't informe me and bring me wan since you have car =(* reply: i called u coz i think of u. that time is last min decide coz i told her i wanna go coz last sem i know the feeling cant find the case study. and she keep telling me she wanna go. and that time is public holiday. and v tot u going travel or somewhere else. i tot dun wan to tell this to u, but u can ask her. before go i got keep mention v take every case study v found then im the 1 take to college for Mr.A check see whether which 1 v can use then separate the topic then v give u. that night i call u coz i find Mr. A and he checked but just 2 case study can use only other ppl take it dy. then what u wan me to tell u? then she not yet found also. coz i full time student so i everyday go college to search for the book and keep let him check. not i dun wan bring u! since i hv car i am so willing to fetch u all,ok! just i dunno how to go to national library. i beg MR. A for whole night. finally he promised by condition he drive it and borrow him the car even how not willing i am then did u know? u dun know. u just remember whenever v outing is without u only. then did u know whenever v go out v mention n think bout u? i can say u dunno since u wrote this. i know the feeling that no money. v didnt call u out coz i know the feeling of hv to reject ppl is hard but if u out with us u hv no money. so v choose not to tell u, u think the feeling so nice go out without u?! no! but bring case 3 down, i still feel hurt whenever u done the revenge!Once again, B felt like a double Idiot. Then on leave and went to school to look for case study. Luckily, B always in good luck cuz she has so many people around to help her. She has one good boyfriend who willing to send her through and fro to look for whatever she wants. God helped her too, her lecturer approved her cap-palang case studies WITHOUT EVEN GOING TO THE NATIONAL LIBRARY. =D BTW, never ajak people still wanna tell people where she went. Want people to envy is it. Next life la.
reply: i tell u is bu xiao xin tell u coz from that moment i know u dy hurt from the way u talk. but i still tell u what i know!Case 6:B always get the news that A trying to keep from her. HAHAHAHA. Therefore B knows she's not alone. A called Mr.D to ask about how to gamble on Genting. A & C planned for Genting trip without B knowing. Talk until here, B no longer is a friend I guess. Is this what YOU MEAN BY "I TREAT YOU AS A VERY VERY BESTFRIEND/ A FRIEND THAT I THOUGHT CAN BE GOOD FRIEND WITH AFTER MY WHAT 20 YEARS BESTFRIEND ALL KIND OF SHITS?" Oh ya btw, A even called B and asked about her how to be membership of Genting whatsoever. BUT never pun inform B or ajak B to go together with her. EVIL nya. This is how somebodyDEFINE VERY VERY BESTFRIEND =).reply: i ask Mr.D is she at my home and v dunno what to do but that time dy dunno what time. v just ask and didnt go la! i ask bout the membership is i going with other 2 MR.D(my fren),ok?! if dunno ask la. dun keep play revenge.Case 7:Too many until B also forget cuz she has a real good life now. TRUE friend and LOVING boyfriend.reply: ya, i know u hv good boyfriend right now. since he chase u i know he will be.Oh ya.There are times that A SURELY look for B as if she is the most important person on earth.Car got stolen.A IM BA: Dearest B~~~ (as sweet as she can). Can you help me to fax bla blabla to blablabla?B: O.O" But the fax machine had gone long long time ago, so I can't help you le...? How?A: ok thx nvm bai. (This is the way she always reply when B is helpless)reply: act i dunno what to reply u! so i reply ok thx nvm coz dun wan let u feel that i angry of u coz u din help me fax. and somemore everytime i msg u really feel like damn weird coz u reply a sentence or what. v r like nothing to talk about. so i choose easy way. P/S this happen from the time u start to revenge on me while u dunno what really happen and u dun wan ask for it! u just use guess.Air ticketA sms BA: *sweet talk for the opening* Can help me book Air-Asia air ticket please???B: O.O" *blank* But, I don't know how le...my sis did it wan everytime. *B damn stupid dunno how to use a credit card wan*A: oh k nvm thx (Again)Friends outing.A: DingDong said wanna outing.B: Yea lor. I heard that.A: You decide time/venue/place/when/what/how/what underwear/whatever shits/whatever activities ya?B: O.O" oh......ok.... ( Like only B is going out)Forgot what incident.A calling B.A: Later I take it to your house by cab ya. You come out wait me.B: Ok, no problem *happy*Cab arrived.B: O.O? *Eh, A le? O.O? Boyfriend? Nvm*Boyfriend: *Hands B stg and an extra stuff*B: *O.O" student ID?* Hey, what is this for???Boyfriend: Dunno! Take it or leave it. Result gua!! *whilst heading to cab, damn rude but nvm*B: *wtf, never get down from cab but still want me to do extra job, why so rude one, tot can hug her before she back to hometown*hey, i lazy to explain dy la! coz no point to explain at here anymore!XD now v r very damn ok le! somemore better than the 1st v met! v r so in love before and after and will be forever.
i should try to forgive and forget. i hv forgive them but then i cant forget what they have done! this make me so confuse whether i really forgive them?! i choose to maintain the relationship by still communicate and keep in touch with them. i tot i cant forgive them at 1st. i tot i damn hate them until dun wanna talk to them and just end our relationship by not keep in touch but im not. i still try to keep in touch but after then i found that the thing that i not sure for so long finally there is a sure answer and i totally double 100% hate them and feel that i wanna to tell them thats all! no point to fren with ppl that not sincere and betrayed ur own fren! now for me whatever reason u gonna give me i dun even wanna hear for once. i met them when i further my study far from my own home and hometown. i tot that i found a truth fren that i can rely on. i tot i found a fren that i wish to hv for almost 20 years after my very very best fren. bestfren should treat sincerely and truthful with their heart then ask urself did u do the same thing to all of ur fren?! but im glad without u all i hv a very very best fren that v grow tgt since 3years old and she treat me truthful and sincerely! the very important thing is she never lie to me and betrayed! no even once! hear carefully... not even once!i always tot that best fren and truth fren can be more than 1! i always tot if u treat other very good and they will treat u back the same! this few days, i keep thinking did i do anything wrong to u all?!did i backsteps u all?! do i betrayed u all before?! do i selfish with u all before?!or do i scold u all before?!do i hate u all before?!do i quarrel with u all before?!not only this, i still asking myself how angry im to what u all do to me when u all need help do i say no before?! do i not trying my best to help u all?!everything u all ask me did i keep it as secret before?!when i have any important information bout whatever thing did i hide it from u all?!u all like to fool about me did i scold u all before?!do i angry with u all before?!i think and think but i cant any answer yes for all this question!but i still dun understand y u all still lie to me and betrayed me! why???????i treat u all like my best fren but i dun understand y u all wanna lie to me and betrayed me?!izzit i not a good fren that u all can fren with me?!i not a good fren that u all can share with me?!"wo yi zhi wen zi ji, shi fou wo zuo ni men de peng you zuo de bu gou hao?"because of this my heart started to drop every single tears since the moment i know u all lie to me and betrayed me!maybe i not good enough to be u all best fren!frankly speaking, to tell u that to end our relationship is painful than break with the love 1! its really pain but i hv no choice because found out the fren that u treat as a very very best fren betrayed u and lie to u is more hurt and painful until i cant stand the pain anymore. i know to end it also very pain for me but i cant accept a fren that not sincere and betrayed. sorry... our chapter closed here. T_T
after previous blogging i go to search smth to read to recall my memory! suddenly saw 1 post by other...i keep read it and think bout it and i realise 1 thing!im so stupid fucking idiot! still thinking that v can be best fren and close fren just after knowing each other for 3months! wtf... it is not! i hate ppl lie at me! i hate that fucking idiot ppl!eventot u dun wan hv any secret with somebody but dun push me as a topic! PLEASE RESPECT ME WTF!everyone know bout it and i still believe u would not betrayed me and lie to me but it is not!and now i believe that even the one who not close to me also know bout it coz she is closed with somebody wtf!dun tot that when u all act nth then i would not know bout it! but i just hope that u remember what u promised me and dun simply break the promises and betrayed ur fren! u all make me feel that u all r so fucking!u all make me feel like wanna deleted the chapter of our memory off!before this ppl told me smth but i tot just only 1 but now i realise its not only 1 and what the lie u all hv make just to make ppl say out their thing and spread it out to others without bother ppl feeling! u all make me feel like dun even feel wanna talk and see u all the face forever!if saw also feel wanna punch ur face.coz u all r idiot!if there is a lies between frens then what for be fren?!! to hurt each others?!!or to prove u know more than others bout that ppl personal thing!i told u everything coz i tot u r a fren that can hold the promises when u promised me wont tell it out!and i told u in there because i tot u r the 1 i dunno but now i found out that u r not! even u r the one i know in there i still hope u wont break ur promises to keep my personal secret but u help me to spread it out and other look me like alien while i still did not realise what was happen! u and somebody really make me feel so annoying and irritating!P/S: there wont hv a real fren, best fren or even close fren if u all just know for few months! to remind the readers outside there dun simply believe ppl! to find a real fren its need time! this is the lesson i get when i believe ppl that i just know! FUCK
arggggggggggggggsince my parents keep saying i fb-ing whole day and din do my assignment so i decided to start to blog and i dunno what to blog about wtf.because did not finish my cw so i cant follow my bro and sis in law to jb for trip wtf.so sad even i hv go to many trip in this month.go to melaka few weeks ago. love it...love the trip. spend alot too but its ok! XDbut last week going for penang trip but the trip is so irritating...dunno how to describe it but just only u know my feeling.this trip suddenly make me feel i dun wan go for any trip anymore.haih... i also dunno y! and just u know y! and agreed with u that ur choice is right!in my position i just can be silent! silent make me feel better! tot can have a good farewell trip but...=Xbut just accept and be strong! still hv few trip pending. just put the feeling aside!-End-P/S suddenly feel dun wan talk too much in here. find my diary to put it in! XD
Another stupid day that i have to go through! Now Catherine have to be strong and happy than before. Thing have came to the end and new chapter should begin. Since i choose to end it so i have to go through it strongly no matter how pain it was. Another stupid decision that i made. should be single forever coz i not suit to be with wtf! Just few more weeks i will go back to my old style, old life style, old house, old pattern that i use to it for almost 20years. End it will be good for both of us and fair to both of us. maybe this will sound very selfish but i choose this way so just accept it. To make me feel better and reduce the pain i have to start my cw again. just 3 assignment more to leave my degree. So now just put BGR aside and concentrate with my study. >.< (its not true). ok, its not true! i know its not true! should say i use cw or study as a reason to not think about it! to put it aside just coz i cant accept the true.(zai tao bi). im the loser! im feel so shameful with myself but i have no choice!whatever la, just have to be strong to go thru all this! to reduce the pain, i better change the concentration on assignment. i better start summaries the RC.- END -
在这个的深夜里，我忽然的好想你！我真的好想你！好想打电话给你可是我无法鼓起勇气。因为我知道每当我听到你的声音时我就无法控制我的情绪。我恨自己为什么那么爱情绪化。想念你的心又不知不觉地掉下了眼泪。多羡慕他人。终觉得为什么我都不能他人一样呢？！好想有属于你和我的美好回忆可是仔细的想想你和我的回忆有多少？！ 才发现我们的回忆就只有电话的感觉！多么喜欢自己能像他人。能拥有一个能够在自己身旁陪伴。眼泪淋湿了我的脸只因为彼此无法替彼此分担忧愁。我终是开不了口和你说声对不起也开不了口和你说我多么的想你！今天从你口中听说你的烦恼和你的困难，我的心就快要碎了！因为要满足我，你牺牲了你自己！你对我的好我都知道可是我就是无法控制自己的情绪。我很恨我自己如此地对待你！每天看着你吃快熟面而我在这里大鱼大肉。以前的你每天都能吃mcd可是为了我，你没有一餐能吃得好。连吃一顿好吃的都考虑很久！真的对不起！我知道我不理不睬的性格让你好空虚。可是我有何时不时呢？！每次星期天来到我的心又开始掉泪了！开始想起你！因为我们有的回忆就是到夜市场逛！虽然只是到夜市场逛我也很开心！我都爱买好多吃得和你一起吃！只要我想吃得你都会买不管我是否吃得完吗只要我喜欢就好了。 有时好想和你面对面的好好聊个天可是每次都无法开口， 所以只好陪着你看着你在你家的客厅看戏。好想念你陶醉看着席的样子可是陶醉的你也不会忘了你的烟！每当你看见我在眼睁睁的看着你，你就会叫我去睡觉。可是你终不明白我需要的是什么？！ 我只想要你和我单独的一点点时间！虽然只是一个拥抱 我已经是很开心。有时终觉得为什么你对其他女孩总是和我不一样？！一个月后的我就要回去了！那使得我们不知道会是怎样的呢？！我相信我们很难再见面。不知道即使还能和你见面？！可是见面了我又会怎样呢？！ 好生气自己为什么总是这么情绪化！
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